Widow’s Fire 101
What is Widow’s Fire?
Widow’s Fire is the burning desire for intimacy following the death of a partner or spouse. It impacts many widows and widowers, although not every widowed person will experience it. There is little data on the quantitative figures as the topic is often misunderstood and sometimes seen as taboo.
Why does it happen?
Unfortunately, there are little studies on Widow’s Fire. As one of the largest Widow’s Fire Communities in the world, our work has uncovered certain insights around it. If you were in a strong relationship, it’s natural to want to recreate that again. The loss of one’s partner leaves an incredible void of intimacy and the jolt into being single can often trigger the Fire.
Who feels the Widow’s Fire?
Regardless of age, gender, or sexual preference, Widow’s Fire can hit anyone at any time during their grief. Some widowed individuals feel it even before their partner has passed, in the event of an illness or prolonged struggle. Others feel it shortly after their spouse passes, or even years later.
What are the symptoms?
For those who feel the “fire” there is an uncontrollable urge for physical and emotional connection with another person. Some people experience a deep longing unlike anything they’ve ever felt. It can feel very lonely and make one question their true desires. Many widowed people are taken completely off guard by their Widow’s Fire.
About the Fire
Starting a Widow’s Fire Community
My husband and I had the hots for each other. He loved every inch of me and vice versa. And then, he died. Blindsided by grief, navigating grief with a newborn baby, I was stumbling through my newfound widowhood with a surprising feeling – the burning desire to be touched. Intimacy with my partner was a crucial part of our relationship. I was robbed of romance, love and affection. Months passed and I thought I was going insane. It was like gasoline had been poured all over me and I’d been lit on fire, burning, desperate for physical touch to soothe me. A new relationship felt unrealistic, intimacy felt out of reach and it was all I could think about.
Like many others, I typed into Google what I was feeling and there it was, buried in a random chat room, deep within the threads of a forum, tucked away, hiding in shame. The term “Widow’s Fire” is defined as the burning desire for sex following the loss of a spouse. Discovering this changed the course of my grief and sent me on a mission to bring the Fire out of the shadows, to normalize the feelings and build a community that embraces an undying belief in love after loss. There is so much to discover about sensuality, sexuality, beliefs and desires and it is natural to be curious, nervous, face guilt or confusion. Whether your hope is for new friendships, companionship, dating or a new life-long romance, Widow’s Fire is a guiding light, it keeps us warm, keeps us wishing, wanting, and connecting. It is this community’s reason for being. My purpose is to bring together widows and widowers around the world and encourage us all to share thoughts, experiences and cravings for passion after the passing of a partner.
– Julia, creator and founder of the Worldwide Widow’s Fire Community
Normalize and Empower:
Embrace the normalcy of widows and widowers as vibrant, sexual beings.
Global Community Bonding:
Gather around the bonfire of connection, uniting widows and widowers worldwide.
Mutual Support:
Support those struggling to breathe through life’s smoke, together.
“Life turned upside down AND my daily doses of love and affection…gone. Widow’s Fire is a powerful aspect of grief and a useful tool we don’t always understand how to utilise.
6 years later, I am still fascinated by the Fire and the way it can help steer a new path.
Widow’s Fire brings you closer to understanding your heart and desires. Let the heat move you forward from frustration to freedom. That spark inside is a sign you are alive! Stay hot.”
Which stage of widowhood are you currently navigating?
So, your person got sick or drowned or got in a car accident or committed suicide or something and it’s not that I want to put it quite like this but, yadda yadda yadda…. they died. They DIED. Died. Gone.
This happened.
Then, it happens, if it happens, and has probably happened if you’re here, the Fire ignites. Like gasoline being poured all over your bedroom and body and someone
striking a match, holding it up to the curtains and then casually walking out and closing the door behind them.
It blindsides you, leaves you feeling trapped, frantic, panicking, alone, running around looking for relief or a way out.
If only someone would save you, throw water on you and nurse you back to health. If only someone was there to hold you, hug you, kiss you, cuddle you. Reassure you.
FAQs
We are a global community with members from over 20 countries. Widows find locals through tailored groups, through other members’ profiles, and through discussion. Our members also find it invaluable to be able to converse with widows from anywhere in the world, where meeting them may have been impossible due to their geographical limitations. New members are joining everyday! We do not disclose specific numbers but your membership is lifelong and you can regularly check for new joins.
Absolutely. We are proud to have such equal parts men and women in our community. At least 50% of our members are men who were widowed. Men find the Widow’s Fire Community a very supportive, open environment. Oftentimes, in their day to day lives, men have found it hard to discuss intimacy following the death of a partner. Widow’s Fire changes that for men with tons of open discussion, the ability to meet new friends, and even a potential partner. We’ve had men get engaged and marry a new love, all through our trusted community. Men also greatly value our online sessions where they can hear from other men and share stories. Bottom line: Widow’s Fire is not just for women.
We charge a membership fee to join. Once you’re in, you get access to all members, 1:1 chats, member keyword search, group discussions on a wide range of topics, helpful resources and even virtual meetings. As we continue to grow, more offerings will be available. your fee helps Widow’s Fire continue to offer a one of a kind, trusted, exclusive experience for widows and widowers.
There is no guarantee of finding love anywhere in this world. Everyone who joins is here because they lost someone important to them. Some of our members have gone on to find new life partners and others have built long-lasting friendships. Some rely on the community for feedback and advice as they continue to date offline. The possibilities are endless and if you feel the fire, you open yourself up to those possibilities by joining the community.
Do you feel the fire? Do you get excited when you think about being intimate with a partner again? Do you long for touch, companionship, discussion, or even sex? Then the Widow’s Fire is a place you can go where individuals who are experiencing the same feelings and thoughts as you can come together. It’s a safe, exclusive, vetted place where Wids can feel open to sharing their experiences, connect with others, and go through this together. Other dating sites for widows preach casual hookups or grief counselling. Our site is an enriched experience that goes beyond any one objective. Our satisfaction rate is in the high 90s. Read our testimonials here.
We are excited to offer regular group video calls. We typically run a call once a week and we change the time and day of the week to have options for the different time zones and schedules of our community. We cover a variety of topics and always allow for open discussion and connection – with or without a drink involved! We’d love to welcome you into a session.
TESTIMONIALS
testimonials
